Sex, Violence…..and the rest that form our real life.
Its fiction, but I swear to you…if everybody I know or knew gets hold of this…they might disagree.
If my heart crawls on all four to land at your feet,
will you trample on it or fall to embrace!
If you hear the beats of my fears,
will you resonate?
Or walk away,
with your heart tucked away.
Author : Davidflo
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 2017, by Davidflo.
It was the first time I had been to a cemetery. All the images I had of one had come from movies. So I was a tad disappointed with the overgrown vegetation that surrounded the graves. I didn’t have a black shirt, the closest i had was a dark blue short-sleeve. I was surrounded by people i had known all my life, most of them lived around, the rest were distant relatives. They were looking at me and my sister as the body was lowered into the ground. I was sure they expected tears to stream down my eyes, but my face was dry. Some kinds of pain are deeper than tears.
My younger sister was beside me, she didn’t cry either. If I didn’t know her, I would have sworn she didn’t know who was being buried. She even smiled at people that told her they were very sorry.
At the other side of the grave were my friends, Tope and Ugo. They looked at me with pity in their eyes, I hated that look. If I had the strength, I would have smiled back at them, to assure them that I was alright. They were my closest friends, we did everything together. We were all in SS2, the same School, Tope was 17, while Ugo and I were 16.
As soon as the prayers were done, people walked away. most of them shook their heads as they walked back. I could see in their eyes that they thought my dad was crazy for killing himself. Even his relatives didn’t linger, they reminded me that they were returning back to their distant states. I didn’t care, it was not like they had played an important part in my father’s life. I just wanted to assure my younger sister that it would all be fine, ironically, she did most of the re-assuring. She was the most important person in my life.
It started drizzling as we made our way back to the house. Half way down, I carried her, though she was 10, I still treated her like a baby, I didn’t want mud to stain her shoes, she had always been my responsibility, but with dad gone, she was my all. I had promised her mum was going to come for the burial, she told me she doubted it. she won.
Mum had left us a year earlier, we just got back from school and she was gone. We heard rumors that she was in Ghana, some even said the North, but it didn’t matter where she was, she was still gone.
I placed my sister on her bed, she had slept before we got to the house. I made sure the windows were closed, and she was well covered. She was a Sickle cell patient, I didn’t take chances with her.
That night as I lay in bed, with eyes closed, I could swear I heard my dad’s voice, he was saying ” Fifi, you are growing bigger oh, someday you will bigger than me” , but I am sure I was just mentally unstable, those words were one of his favorites. I would have slept to shut out the voices, but I had to think about tomorrow, my dad had died without any money, I mean nada!.. Getting food for the house was top priority, then drugs for my sister. I didn’t know how I would get them yet, but I knew I would. There was no other choice.