I had to get a Taxi for Ene to go home. We were both bruised, she was too weak t go to the bus stop to board a bus. I was exhausted myself, when I asked her if she wasn’t going to see her boyfriend again, she hissed at me. I took that as a ‘no’.
Kiki was back from classes when I returned, she was making noodles. Bauchi was still on the couch, he wasn’t Unclad. Ezekiel was not back.
“Your friend is still not talking to me,” Bauchi said as I sat down beside him.
“Have you begged her?”
“Yes na, I followed her to school sef, she ignored me like I was one toaster.”
“Get her gift.”
He stood up and looked at himself.
“Am I not a gift myself?”
Such cockiness was why he would sleep in my room one more night.
Kiki came to the parlour with two plates of noodles. Bauchi sat down and quickly put a stool in front . She ignored him and instead offered me the plate.
The look Bauchi gave me was scary and funny at the same time. I really wanted to eat her food. Ene had sapped all my energy. But I had to obey the bro code.
“I am alright, kiki.”
“You don’t want to eat because of Bauchi, right?”
He was smiling sheepishly, tugging at his beards.
“No, I ate earlier, thanks,” I replied.
“You will remain hungry.”
Luckily for me, Ezekiel made a gallant entry. He immediately greeted sister Kiki before noticing us.
“You must be hungry, Ezekiel,” she said giving him the plate of noodles filled with sardines and a boiled egg.
“Ah! You are blessed sister. Your barn shall be filled like that of Jacob.”
Ezekiel didn’t need to sit down before he started eating the food.
Kiki smiled delightfully and walked room. I don’t know if she did it on purpose, but her bum bounced a lot more than it usually did.
Bauchi waited till she had left before pouncing on Ezekiel.
“You know say na my food you dey chop, ba?”
“No na, Fifi, weren’t you here when she gave me the food?”
I kept quiet, Ezekiel became tensed.
“Bro Fifi, is this Bro Bauchi’s food?” he asked me, the gulped seem heavier.
He looked at Bauchi and wanted to talk but kept quiet. He slowly walked to his room. Bauchi followed him inside, I did too.
“Bauchi, allow me change my clothes, I will cook beans for you, Very sweet oh!”
I laughed looking at Bauchi who couldn’t contain himself, he started laughing too.
“Na your papa you go cook that your fvcking beans for.”
“Bauchi, in your life, don’t ever mention my father!” Ezekiel shouted.
Bauchi had never looked taller, I watched with amazement as he lifted Ezekiel from his feet.
“Help me, Help me, Help me!” Ezekiel screamed.
Kiki ran into the room with a spatula, immediately she saw Ezekiel’s head close to the ceiling fan, she started hitting Bauchi.
“Leave the poor boy, is he the one that said you should not be able to control your wandering phallus?”
Bauchi put his hand inside Ezekiel’s pocket and brought out three 1000Naira notes.
“That is the money for the chorister’s clothes, don’t touch it. Don’t you dare!”
“Fifi, make we go chop for G.R.A.”
“Fifi, don’t go with him, let him go by himself,” Kiki said.
Once again I had to obey the bro code.
“Bauchi, surely, u will not make heaven!” Ezekiel screamed as we left the house.
I expected us to go to a restaurant but I met myself at a bar. I didn’t know how long Bauchi had stayed in the Estate prior to moving into the apartment but he was popular. Mama Chinonso hailed him as soon as she saw him. The girls serving wasted no time coming to our table.
“As usual?” a fair dimpled one with large head asked.
“Yes, Angela, for me and my man here.”
She nodded happily and went to the backyard that served as the kitchen.
“Fifi, you are a young boy but I have been watching you. You are very mature for your age. You will go far in life. I liked the way you stood by me today. Kiki indomie na wash sef , abi?”
“Not really,”I replied.
“Well thats not the point. The point is that you are my man and I will show you things, expose you to stuffs that will make you a man.”
“stuffs like what?” I asked
“Stuffs that would make you a Player.”
“Yes, a player. You will be able to control everything around you.”
“Sounds interesting. You mean you can control everything round you?”
“Yes, he replied.”
“So how come you didn’t stop the policemen from arresting you?”
“How come the son of man sacrificed himself and died in the cross. Sometimes you allow things to happen for a greater reason.”
I thought it was all hogwash, but I feigned interest.
The big headed girl came with two bottles of Big stout and two plates of cow-tail.
“I don’t drink Guiness,” I said, telling the girl to take it back and bring a Lager beer.
“Why?” he asked.
“Its bitter,” I replied.
“That because you don’t know how to drink it. Now, talk a gulp, you don’t drink beer with the front of your tongue, you do it with the back and your throat.”
I looked at him, his weirdly brown eyes were burying into mine. He looked like a bad boy with his rough beards hanging on his face but I could see why Kiki liked him. He was unique. He was different.
“Let the drink roll and fall in your throat, there is nothing more satisfying.”
He poured a glass of the black drink into my cup. I did as I was told, making sure I dulled the senses in the front of the tongue. I didn’t feel any difference. It was still bitter.
“better right?” he asked.
“Nope, same,” I replied.
He smiled and drank his. That was when I felt the difference. The smell of the drink enveloped me, the lingering taste tasted like bitter chocolate. Suddenly I wanted to try another cup, and I did. It was full and refreshing, the bitterness was their but it was satisfying.
I called the girl who served us earlier.
“Please bring back the Guinness.”
He raised his glass and hailed the man I had become.
To Be Continued