SACRIFICES WE MAKE FOR LOVE
It was quiet painful for me to be back in campus without my febby around. Her absence created a void in my heart that could only be filled by her alone. But It was just me and Fred. Although we spoke on phone on daily basis, it was never the same with her around. I had only being in campus for a week but it felt like a year. Going to my lecture room was quiet an issue, I had gotten used to her walking with me around and picking me up at the end of the day. I really needed Febby around me, she was my motivation, the air I wanted to breath. I had to come up with a plan for her to be back in school no matter what.
After attending Sunday mass, I decided to call her and tell her about my new plan towards her education.
“My sugar.” She answered.
“Hey sugar” I said with excitement over what I was going to say.
“Sugar..” We both called at the same time.
“You go first” she adjured me.
“No my sugar, it ladies first.” I murmured.
“Ok, I wanted to tell you that I will be coming back to school.” She happily said.
“Yeah, after church today, the Reverend called me and in the presence of some elders told me the church has decided to help me with my fees because my mum was a very devoted member of the church.”
“Wow sugar that is the best news of my life!”
“But he said the church can only afford my fees therefore, I will have to be coming from home as I can not afford accommodation in campus or in a boarding house.” She explained further.
“Well we can sort that out sugar, the big part has been done.”
“So what did you want to tell me?” She asked.
“I equally wanted to tell you about your education, I had a plan in mind but now that your church is helping, I will cater for your accommodation near the school and the food.”
“Kangwa I appreciate your kindness but I prefer to be coming from home so that o am closer to my siblings and ensure they have all the necessities.”
“Can we talk about this in person?” She requested.
“Alright. But then, when are you likely to start coming to school?”
“They pledged to give me something next week probably then or after.”
“OK then, I will see you tomorrow after my lectures. I really miss you my sugar.”
“Miss you too my angel.”
Monday afternoon soon as my lectures were done, I took a bus to town. Before getting on another to kwa mulenga, I went into a gift shop and bought some flowers and chocolates for my girl. I also got bread, sugar, milk and sweets for her siblings then I got on the bus.
Gertrude received and unpacked the parcels I had brought for them she shared the sweets among her young ones who went outside excusing us after saying thanks to me.
“They adore you.” Febby said once we were left alone. Then she continued.
“I love them too.” I smiled. “Now here is what I wanted to say, I will pay for your accommodation at a boarding house and food I will be providing. You can be coming to see your siblings over the weekend but we must put your education first. Gertrude can take care of the rest till your are done with studies.”
“Am I not the luckiest girl on earth?” She moved from her chair and joined me on where I sat.
“No I am the luckiest guy.” I swallowed hard as I inhaled her clean scent, my heartbeat racing at the look she was giving me, how seductive those brown eyes were, she looked me straight into my eyes and I faced down feeling uneasy. She got a bar of chocolate and placed it in her mouth.
“Get some chocolate sugar.”
I tried reaching mg hand for the packet but she moved it away and pointed to her month.
“Get from here, with your tongue.” She softly said one word after another.
I hesitated for a moment as though I had second thoughts, then moving closer, I placed my lips on hers and pushed my tongue slowly in her month, got hold of the melted piece of chocolate and moved back. Febby pulled me towards her and kissed me passionately and I kissed back hesitantly. After a few seconds I pulled back and moved to another chair.
“Am sorry Febby I can’t.” I slowly said.
“What do you mean you can’t? Come on let me show you how thankful I am for all you have done for me.” She joined me again.
“This is not the way to show me Febby!”
“What do you mean? Am I not attractive to you?”
“Of course you are but I am not ready, more over this is not the time or place”
“Kangwa I am your girlfriend and I love you. You don’t need to feel uncomfortable with me.”
“You are right, I am your boyfriend, I must respect you and your family. I can’t treat you like a nobody by defiling your late mother’s house. No way!” I spoke from my heart.
“Oh Kangwa you are just being difficult for nothing. You make me feel like I am unattractive, you make me feel undesired!” She broke down.
I was now afraid of even embracing her, because I could have been tempted to touch her or fall for her plea. I had made up my mind never to disrespect Febby by treating her like a prostitute, its not like she had to pay back for my good deeds. But how could I have explained without injuring her thoughts,?
“I could do anything for you Febby, but you ought not to pay back with your body. If I make love to you, it must be out of passion and not obligation. We can plan for this, not here not now!” I pleaded to her to understand.
She chuckled, “planned passion? Planned passion does not exist! Passion just flows on its own. And true passion does not care about time and place.!” She clicked her tongue and faced the other way.
I knelt down besides her and held her hand.
” Febby, you are a special woman, and I want the first time we make love to be special. I know I may be boring due to lack of experience. But I am willing to learn, please let’s arrange for another place where I will be free. What happens if any of your siblings walk in? ”
She looked at me and took in a deep breath,
” you have a point anyway” then she stood up and went to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of water which she gulped and after a few seconds of staring at me, she sat at her own seat a bit distant from me. We sat awkwardly non breathing a word some time till I decided to break the moment.
“Here is the money for your accommodation.” I handed her the cash.