The news of having a baby and being a mum is the greatest news one would ever hear but when it happens at the wrong time, its total agony.
I had come to Lusaka to attain a good education so as to live successfully, now this baby will shut all my dreams of me ever making my parents proud. I know my dad was definitely going to kill me, maybe mum would understand.
Abortion is also not an option, I cannot take the life of an innocent child.
Funny how life is, when fornicating and doing all the wrong things, we don’t think of those who might get hurt with the outcome of our foolishness.
I looked at Lulu hoping for her to tell me that it was just a joke but nothing, she gave me the prego test. I wanted my eyes to prove what my ears just heard. I pooped out my eyes clearly to check properly and there it was two bold lines indicating that indeed a little me was growing inside,I cried like a baby craving for mama’s milk. Lulu held me comforting me,she told me to be strong and face my worst fears. I surely needed that, it gave me strength.
Lulu cooked some porridge for me, I now understand why I was developing crazy cravings and those morning sickness. Lulu helped me to count days when I last had my monthly period, the day I slept with Francis and the day I slept with Mark but we couldn’t come up with answers. This was a tough case, we needed some medical intervention by a medical personnel. Lulu called her nurse friend who said it was really hard to determine who the father was if I slept with two guys in the same week, she promised to get back to us later, smh some people!.
I was so disappointed in myself for the fact that I was pregnant and didn’t know who the father of my little munchkin was. I felt disgusted for allowing myself stupid self to sleep with Mark. I dont know how he was going to respond to the news of me being pregnant. He was going to see me as some reckless cheap whore. Ohhhhhh Lord if its Francis this was going to be his jackpot to have me for the rest of his life and boy I cannot imagine the misery I would go through nonetheless this little champ needs a father. What a reckless mother is my baby going to have? Too many thoughts ran through my mind.
Lulu suggested we go do a test at the clinic and be 100% sure I was really pregnant. We went to some private hospital and did the test, the results came out positive.
On our way from the hospital, Charles called to check up on me, I was happy to hear from him. He told me to take care and promised to send someone to bring me some money for groceries and the likes. I thanked him for everything, he sent his regards to Lulu and Naomi. He asked when I was moving in to my new house. I told him i would move him in any time soon. God of Israel how did I forget charles , this pregnancy was going to break him. Charles never asked me out but I assume he has been doing all the nice things for me which meant that he had a soft spot for me and now this pregnancy, how was I going to live in my new house with another man’s child. I doubt Charles would allow something of sort to happen. This baby has really come at the wrong time, its a total mass destruction to my life.
Before Lulu left for class she lectured me, she told me to think things through and not rush into making conclusions.
I needed to find solution and sort this issue for once and all. Mark seemed like a nice person, but how will he react to the news of me being pregnant. As for Francis this would simply be his gateway to have me and that meant suffering for the rest of my life, what should I do? My baby needs his/her father.
I called Mark’s line, it went to voicemail. I then called my aunt, she was surprised to hear from me. I lied to her that I had gone for a school project in living stone. I asked to speak to mark if he was around. She told me Mark left three days ago, his leave was only for a month. She promised to send me his UK line. She asked me to call him and talk to him adding that maybe he likes me and that he spoke highly of me. If only this woman knew the matter at hand, she would have roasted me.
Hearing that Mark has gone back to UK made me wanna throw up and pee at the same time. My aunt’s text came in minutes later, she recharged my line with Kr50 airtime. Ohh this woman is proving to be nice, its like she is reading my mind. I texted her thanking for the air time. I got some more air time for kr50 from my xapit account. I quickly called the number and a lady picked up. I cut, checked the number and dialed it again. The same lady picked up, I introduced myself as Mark’s friend. “Mark is in the shower, call back later” she said. Before I could hang up the call, I heard Mark in the background asking who was on the phone. The lady told me to hold as she handed over the phone to Mark.
Mark: hello Mark speaking.
Me: hey its mwila.
Mark: how may I help you?
M: I need to talk to you, its urgent.
Mark: ohhhh now you want to talk to me after avoiding me for a month.
Me: please just hear me out.
Mark: life is funny, to think that it was me who was begging to talk to you and now its you today who is begging me.
Me: come on!!! Its really important that I talk to you.
Mark: l’m guessing you only called because of the importance of whatever you want to say. If it weren’t for that, you wouldn’t have called. Am glad you are now testing the taste of your own medicine, how nice.
Me: please am begging you to just listen to me.
Mark: I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. I have forgotten about that one night stand we had so do the same. Please take care of yourself, dont be so loose. Have some self respect and self pride, I mean you are too young to waste your future.
Me: just listen to me.
Mark: I’m with my fiancee right now, you are disturbing us and please do me a favor don’t ever call this number.
Me: please Mark.
Mark: I don’t want to piss my woman, if you don’t mind can you cut the line for me?
Me: thank you so much for everything.
Mark: you ar welcome.. Good bye
Me: wait wait . . . .
I tried to call back but there was no response, whites were right when they said the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know. I cried my heart out. Did I really deserve such words from Mark. Lord of Israel please see me through, this battle is too much for me. I looked at myself in the mirror, I held on to my tummy. I promised my little ninja that I would do everything humanly in my power to be a good parent.
Charles’s friend called to tell me he was outside, I hurried to the gate, he gave me a bunch of kr100 notes, I asked him to wait for me while I went back inside to wear something warm. I wanted him to gave me a lift to the mall. I went in to change, I got Kr500 from the money I was given. We drove to east park mall, I got some groceries, mostly importantly my cravings (bananas and grapes). This little champ was driving mummy insane. The guy waited for me in the car Park. He drove me back to the boarding house. I thanked him and he left. I was helping myself with the plastic bags when someone pulled me from behind. Francis is such a pain in the ass, I tried to fight back and run away but he caught up with me before I could open the gate. He hit me on my back and I felt a sharp pain. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Francis: so you are leaving me or an old man.
Me: the problem with you is that you like insinuating things without finding out the whole truth. Please let go of me.
Francis pulled me to the back sit and told the driver to cruise…. I was worried about what Francis was going to do to me because it would affect my angel. I didnt want him to harm my child in any way. .